Weirdly Specific Tips for Living in Denver (That Are Surprisingly Useful)

Hey Denver!

If you’ve ever opened a yogurt too fast at elevation and ended up wearing it—congrats, you’re officially a Denverite. In a city where the sun burns hotter, snow melts weirdly, and parking lots double as battle zones, it pays to know the hyper-local hacks.

Here are the funniest, most oddly helpful advice from people who’ve lived here long enough to know the difference between Colfax charm and Colfax chaos. Whether you’re new to town or just finally admitting you are Subie-curious, these are the Mile High truths no one tells you—until now.

Let’s get into it 👇

🧠 Mile High Wisdom: Weirdly Specific Tips for Surviving (and Thriving) in Denver

Think you’ve adjusted to Denver life? Think again. These delightfully odd (and oddly accurate) local tips will have you living like a native—and maybe laughing like one too.

🏡 South-Facing Driveways Are Supreme

If you’re house hunting or apartment searching, always look for a south-facing driveway. Why? The sun does the shoveling for you. Meanwhile, your north-facing neighbors are still scraping ice in May.

😎 Sunglasses + Sunscreen = Survival

At this altitude, the sun is less “gentle warmth” and more “laser pointer from hell.” Wear SPF every day (yes, even in winter), and never leave home without sunglasses. Bonus: polarized lenses will save your eyeballs and your sanity.

🥵 Moisturizer, Lip Balm, and a Humidifier = Denver Starter Pack

Dry skin, chapped lips, constant nosebleeds? Welcome to the high desert. Everyone here owns a personal apothecary of lotions and nasal sprays. Want to sleep without waking up mummified? Get a humidifier. Or three.

🧃Beware the Yogurt Blowout

Opening dairy products at elevation can be… dangerous. Always crack that lid slowly or risk a creamy explosion that makes your lunch break way more memorable than planned.

🚗 Avoid Trader Joe’s Parking Lots (All of Them)

There’s no such thing as a chill trip to the Trader Joe’s at 7th & Logan or 8th & Colorado. Locals know to bike or walk—or emotionally prepare for combat parking.

💨 If It Smells Like Cow Poop, Snow Is Coming

Forget your weather app. The real forecast? If Denver smells like Greeley, a storm is on the way. This strange phenomenon is weirdly accurate.

🥾 Yes, That Subaru Is Going 15 MPH With 10 Car Lengths Ahead

Just accept that Subarus and slow drivers are part of life here. Either get around them—or join them.

🎭 You Can Wear Jeans Literally Anywhere

Except skiing. Otherwise, jeans are fair game at the opera, weddings, and first dates. Fancy means “clean.”

🔥 Keep Your Christmas Lights Up Until the End of the Stock Show

It’s tradition, not laziness. The National Western Stock Show runs through mid-January, and locals keep their twinkle lights up in solidarity (and because it’s still dark and depressing).

🪪 Always Carry Your ID

Doesn’t matter if you’re 70 with a full beard and gray hair. If you want a drink, they will card you—and no, your expired vertical license won’t cut it.

🚲 Bonus Life Hack: The Bike Path is Your Best Friend

Want to skip I-25 entirely? Invest in a basic bike or an e-bike. Denver’s bike trail network can get you nearly anywhere within city limits, often faster than traffic.

Want even more quirky local insight? Check out:

• Things to do in Denver

• Best restaurants in Denver

• Best hotels in Denver

Wherever you’re headed—bring sunscreen. And maybe an extra yogurt. Just in case.

🗳️ Poll: Would You Be Interested in a Paid Membership for What’s Happenin’?

We’re thinking about new ways to bring more value to our local community—like exclusive weekend picks, early access to special guides, maybe even local perks and members-only events.

Nothing is set in stone just yet, but we want your input.

Like all our polls, this is about listening to you. Your feedback helps us grow in the right direction—and we’re grateful to have you in the community. ❤️

🌆 Mile High Happenings & Weather ☀️❄️

Sunday, March 30

☁️ Mostly Cloudy

High: 50°F | Low: 35°F

💨 NNE 12 mph | 🌧️ 24% chance of rain

🆓 Free Events

🎷 Jazz Sundays – A weekly jazz series featuring local talent and great beer. @ Woods Boss Brewing Company, 3-5 PM

💵 Ticketed Events

🎶 10th Anniversary Renditions Dinner Concert: Grant Green – Dinner and a jazz show. @ Nocturne, 6–10 PM ($26 bar / $145 dinner)

🎤 Kelsea Ballerini – Pop-country tour stop. @ Ball Arena, 7:30 PM

🏆 Get Out & Get Moving!

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